Maxie, the Sex Toy Salesman
by Clouded Dawn
Summary: Maxie is on house arrest after his mishap with the region of Hoenn, with the whole turning it into land thing. This is his wacky story of how he spent his last day of house arrest. Rated M for crude humor, I do not own any character from this story and belongs to the pokemon company.


Maxie, the Sex Toy Salesman.

Maxie, the once powerful man of Team Magma, leader of thousands to turn the region of Hoenn into a grand landmass, was now under house arrest after his capture. Simple enough right? Wait out a house arrest and go on with his life like a normal man, but who the fuck wants to do that?! Maxie banged his head against walls in aggravation, wanting to go outside and reclaim his power, but the damn fangled ankle bracelet they put on him would shock his body every time he'd go out of the little parameters. You think a big criminal like him would be stuck into a high security prison for what he does, but the courts just kind of laughed at the crazy environmentalist that most likely smoked a little too much Oddish. A day before he was let free of his house arrest, he was found in his upstairs room, playing with pieces of landmass and a Groudon figure. He was aggravated and wanted the day to end so he could roam freely, but it didn't and god knows why, Maxie snapped. He had a stupid crazy plan to tape the plastic toy Groudon onto the ankle bracelet where the crack in the power source was for the electrocution device and run outside, the shock melting the toy and breaking the system of it, it was genius! For a crazy man that is.

After taping the toy onto the bracelet, he ran for the bedroom door, only to slip on a round object and tripping backwards into the window, shattering the glass and feel from the second floor. He was getting shocked the whole way down till he almost hit the ground, the toy did melt and stop the shocking which was crazy because who the hell would've thought that would work, a man on Oddish?! He sighed in relief which was silenced by a quick slam on the… Sand? Yes Maxie forgot he lived in the middle of the Hoenn sandstorm desert to satisfy his fetish for big, huge… land masses and build a nice sandstorm proof house in the desert, so who gave a fuck if he managed to get out? He quickly headed for the nearest city he could find in his area, which had to be other Mauville or Fallarbor, knowing that he's been seen in Fallarbor before and has a hidden base too close to it he chose to head into Mauville.

Heading into town he wondered what little crime he could do in town, maybe steal a major shipment of supplies for use in rebuilding his organization, but doing that would require a lot of man power and Pokémon, speaking of which Maxie had no Pokémon on his person for fear of a shock earlier in his escape. Not knowing what to do and having little pocket change he did, he did what any other man did in town; he went to a sex shop? Maxie walked in and wasn't really shocked by any of the items on the shelf's too lude to describe at this time, he skimmed the shelf's of those items and thought to himself, "What is worth stealing in this shop?" Because god knows this is a great crime to fix his reputation, the man who used sex toys to make the water dry up, isn't these toys supposed to help make things wetter instead? Anyway Maxie's eyewas caught on a Tropious banana style vibrator on the shelf, he quickly nabbed it and tried running out of the shop with it in his pants. He was quickly stopped by a man who worked in the shop, who looked fairly creepy.

"Is that a banana in your pocket or on of my fucking products?!" Haha get it, because you thought it was gonna be a happy to… Know what fuck it.

Maxie was quickly shaken down by a Machoke and the vibrator feel out of his pant leg, the machoke looked at him which scared him greatly. The store owner agreed after much pleading of Maxie not to call the cops, as long as he worked in the shop for no pay for a day. Maxie was forced to wear a dildo hat and apron that said "I squirt for Squirtle" on the front of it, how stupid did he feel now? After a couple boring hours of no people coming in the store, the bell rung from the entrance of the store, showing two customers, a couple to be exact, that looked very familiar to Maxie. The couple was May and Brandon, the two snot nosed teens that stopped his master plan, but what the hell were they doing in a sex shop?! They quickly went to the corner where all the kinky furry shit was at and started to look around, Maxie leaned a bit from behind the cash register to see what they were looking at, only to find that May was wearing Skitty ears and had a butt plug Skitty tail in her hands. Brando was already holding a Wailord sized and look alike dildo strap-on and was looking very unhappy and displeased about what was going to happen tonight. The couple went up to the counter and had some pleased and happy face's on seeing Maxie at the counter with his hat and apron on, they laughed and laughed as Maxie looked down in shame. The couple bought their items and walked out, still laughing at the poor man as Maxie was having the worst day of his life. After a long, pain ful day, the shop owner finally let Maxie go home in the dark, leaving Maxie in bed, crying himself to sleep.

Promptly the next day the police came to take off the anklet from Maxies leg, but found it busted and replaced after they sent Maxie another 30 days of house arrest, Maxie was clearly not pleased.


End file.
